3.21.2009

Scribble: Listening to Euphoria's "Butterfly Track."

      Fluttering around, little flashes of silver-blue, drifting along unseen currents of air.
      Pouncing all about, determined little eyes flashing and narrowing, scampering just below.
      Floating skyward, bursts of spirited giggles, smiling brightly just a little while away.
      Petals unfurl, clouds part, green floods the landscape.
      Ah, spring!

3.12.2009

Scribble: Let me have this for once.

      The sun gently taps on my eyelids, as soft purring tickles my ears. With a sigh, I wonder where my little feline residents have nestled, to hear the pleasant motor of their breaths so clearly.
      Before I can turn my head, I feel a soft weight over my chest, as disheveled locks fall casually from my chest. I can't tell if she is smiling, or if her eyes are even closed; not even a gentle squeeze is telling, as she buries her face even deeper in me. I can't help but smile for her, though, as my fingertips wander through silken strands, my arm sliding very carefully over her own.
      I can feel the softness of her breath, the warmth of her touch. Briefly, my eyelids start sliding back into place...
      The paw on my nose, of course, proposes an alternative.

3.11.2009

Scribble: Another one of those streams...

      She walked with moonlit eyes, or so they'd say if she ever kept them open or free. Hiding behind thick bangs that swayed when she walked, they remained a lunar mystery, a glowing reminder of the brightness inside.
      She walked onto streets paved with broken stones and the tears of old men, dreams long forgotten and lost to time. Yet, every so often she would bow her head, bangs threatening to reach down to the ground, as though paying respect to what was lost before she was even conceived as an idea. She walks, solemn, keeping the moon enclosed in threaded jail cells with each step.
      But I, I with nothing more to do than wax poetic on the midnight wanderings of the eccentric, step beside, trying to get a passing glance at what ocular marvels lie hidden in the dark.
      For a brief moment, I see the glow. And then, in a heartbeat, she is gone, leaving nothing in her wake save the full moon above, suddenly free of cloudy oppressors.
      So I walk...

3.07.2009

That being said...

      I plan on doing something with an adaptation of Journey to the West someday. I'll let you know what when I get closer to it.

A tired, tired multicultural examination of my own work.

      As writers, we struggle with conflict and identity, and ultimately agonize over what message we will convey through our medium. Particularly if we are born of privilege -- be it through constructs of race, gender, class, orientation, religion, or other such categories that place us in favor within society -- the idea of reaching beyond ourselves, to the struggles of others whom we cannot immediately identify with from our own experience, is one of the greatest challenges we face. It is, perhaps, the only way such privilege can limit us, an unfair trade for all the real life struggles others endure, day in, day out, sometimes simply because there is no other option.
      So when it comes to trying to accomplish something more with our writing, we can't just settle for stereotypes or simply what others have written before us. We have to accept our status, accept what it means, and instead of outright refusing that privilege, use it to resist the very systems that gave it to us and not to those who suffer for, really, arbitrary reasons. Only then can we move past it, into a greater cultural consciousness, to write some serious shit. After all, if you're stuck on feelin' guilty for being white, or unconcerned with the way women are depicted in various media, then how the hell will you ever write a convincing character that isn't a white dude? Especially to an audience that maybe aren't white dudes themselves?
      Or maybe that's just my own projection; fuck knows how many writers are out there today, getting steady work who have never attempted to look at things through a multicultural lens, let alone turned socioeconomic struggle into part of a writer's raison d'ĂȘtre.
      So that's why it bothers me when I write something, and I find myself asking, "just who was that," because there are certain aspects to identity I never bring up in my work -- and, usually, those same aspects are the ones that opened this essay. And I find myself asking if I've just gone and ignored all this myself, or if I've done something completely different and subverted the entire process by not making an issue of it.
      As an example: someone once pointed-out to me that, after reading one of my pieces about a same-sex couple, she was actually encouraged by the fact that their sexuality was never pointed-to; that it was just some sappy romantic piece between two lovers who shared the same pronoun was actually far more significant than, say, another story talking about the struggle of a society that refuses to accept them. Y'know, something embracing their love as being special just for who they are -- somehow more optimistic than anything else. I'm not writing this to toot my own horn or some shit like that, but that I was able to pull something like that off is encouraging, and has made me wonder even more about my approach.
      It's something I wish I could pull-off more with women in my works -- half the time, they're just waifish personifications of wistfulness and beauty; momentary expressions of my own personality that I identify as "female," but almost always to the characters' disadvantage. It's a maturity thing, I know, and I at least hope I've gotten better about that kinda shit with time.
      But the one stumbling block has always been race, and it's something that's always weighed heavy on my mind. Some of it stems from my father's own explicit racism, and some of the shit that went down in my younger days; anyone who tells you "small town values" hasn't seen what those places can do to a black or Persian kid. Maybe because I'm so conscious of it -- or try to be, anyway -- that I get paranoid easy, and back down from approaching it in my work. "Porcelain" gets used more often to describe characters than "tawny," "ebon," "swarthy," or "sable," and whenever I don't mention melanin at all, it comes out in other ways.
      And at this point, it's not even about race, but the culture, and staying true to multicultural form by not making what's "white" the normative experience in my work. Which really might be why I stick with fllash fiction and soft sci-fi, because it's easier to cope with in "slices-of-life" and works that assume, in some way, that the future (or the fantasy) will be at least egalitarian in nature. But it's a sign of immaturity for certain, and one that I need to actively push back against without coming-off as employing "tokenism" or stereotypical perceptions of race . . . or anything else, for that matter.
      And that's ultimately what it's all about. What good am I, as a teller of stories, if I can't be true in my work? I'd be just another dude who's setting the stage for further complicity in an unjust system -- a failure among my own ideals -- and a complete and utter hack -- a failure of my own dream. So I'll experiment, try my best to keep it real, and hope like hell that I can go somewhere with that whole "subtle subversion of norms" thing...

3.05.2009

Scribble: A particularly wistful evening.

      Somewhere she sits, sipping on some tea on some lazy coffeehouse evening, gracefully brushing locks from eyes so warm that passersby thaw at the sight.
      Somewhere she sits, reading only half the pages, as one eye drifts around to other smiles and laughs and fingers delicately interlaced, only to leave fingers longing for some warmth...
      Somewhere she sits, closing the other half of her book and turning the warmth of her eyes to melt the hands on the clock.
      Somewhere she sits, and wonders if we'll ever meet...